Please update the rough draft with the peer review prof. comment

Please update the rough draft with the peer review

prof. comment

“Good analysis of the themes of this painting. Don’t forget to finish formatting your headers and title”.

please see the peer review attachment to update the attached rough draft

Peer Review Worksheet Name of Reader: Gabrial  Name of Writer: XXX

Read your neighbor’s paper while doing the tasks below. Remember the habits of mind and suspend judgement when reading. Keep the five moves in mind when reading and think about how the writer is bringing each of those moves into play within their essay. Don’t think too hard. 

Noticing/Pointing: Which words, phrases, or passages somehow strike you? Are there any passages that stick out to you? Write the most prominent ones here. 

I think that the thing that sticks out to me the most is that the woman has eaten her children. That is an interesting topic, for a generic girl at guys feet. You would assume that she is begging him or being submissive to him. 

Center of Gravity:  Which part of the essay somehow seems important, resonant, or generative? This could be what was intended to be the main point or it could be a section that holds more weight than others. Sometimes the center of gravity is a seemingly minor detail or example. 

“The woman`s affection for the man can be seen when the woman kneels down, faces her husband and holds his arms to plead for forgiveness.”

5 Moves: List some of the authors repetitions, binaries, or anomalies that you notice within the piece. Does the author succeed in expanding upon these parts? 

The authors repetition is explaining the woman begging on her knees. The anomalies of their essay is talking about the snake skin wrapped around the woman’s body. The binaries are good versus evil, and betrayal versus forgiveness. Yes, the author succeeds in expanding upon these parts. 

Summary: Give the paper a creative title based on the content: first a phrase, then one word. 

At the Feet of a Man

Plead

What is almost said? 

It is almost said that the author thinks that the man will forgive the woman for her acts. 

What do you want to hear more about? 

I want to hear more about what you think that the situation is, rather than the facts from a previous story. It needs more of analyzing of the photo, it will help it become a stronger paper. 

Essay 1: Visual Analysis Rubric

Requirements

Formatted according to MLA essay   style and includes a Works Cited page 

Is at least 1,000 words in length and   includes the image in the essay

Begins by introducing the text   (image), author, and context surrounding the piece to an audience who is not   familiar with the work 

Includes a detailed and objective   summary of the text to be analyzed (200 words)

Transitions smoothly from summary to   analysis and from analysis to interpretation

Applies Notice & Focus to   identify interesting, significant, or strange elements of the image and rank   these (500 words)

Focuses on one or two important   details and examines the binaries/patterns they are implicated in

Answers the question, “so what?” to   exposes possible implications, hidden meanings, and key metaphors

Presents some possible   interpretations of the text

Concludes by forwarding a plausible   interpretive context and provides support (evidence) for this interpretation   (300 words)

Overall Score:

Keeping in mind the rubric for this essay, what are they achieving so far? 

They included their five steps, the works cited page, focus on the important details and is in MLA format. 

Likewise, what do they still need to include in their essay? 

They need to make sure that it is 1,000 words it is a less and I do not want it to be deducted from their grade. 

Are there any major grammatical mistakes, typos, or formatting issues? 

Yes, there are a few. In the heading of your paper, you need to type your last name instead of it saying, ‘Last Name’. It also needs a title. 

Additional comments: 

I think that you did a good job on your questions that help form your conclusion about the photo. The only thing is, I do not think you are supposed to include about the real story, the idea is to draw up context clues, and try to form an educational analysis about what the picture is telling the audience. You do give some possibilities though, it’s just suppose to be like that all throughout the paper. Ending it with information to the strongest theory you have. 

(I am fairly positive how this is suppose to be, please correct me if I am wrong Professor Nash.) 

Hopefully this can help you out!